Sophomore Slump..is that a thing?

I'm not really sure how to explain my current situation other than to say I have hit the sophomore slump. Basically, I don't want to do anything anymore. I'm tired of classes. I'm tired of working and going to school. I'm tired of my classmates. I'm just dog tired. All the time. I really wish I had the courage to drop out because  at this point, I am so unhappy with the little amount of "me time" that I have that I'd rather have all the "me time" in the world and not do anything.

Dropping out has never been a consideration of mine before. I've always be driven and had goals. As long as I can remember I was working towards something. I'm headstrong and usually know what I want out of life. Lately, I don't want anything other than to lay in bed, watch old movies, and eat chocolate. Lots of chocolate. I have no motivation. I just keep dragging on thinking that this feeling will pass.

So why not drop out? Have you ever just sat down and thought to yourself "what would really happen if I dropped every single thing I am doing in my life?". It may start off okay but soon your thoughts take you wild places. Sure, I''m just dropping out of college. I can stay at my job like I am and live like I am for forever. But do I really want to be stuck? because that's what happens. You get stuck in a routine and you lose yourself. After a few years it gets hard to get out of this routine that you've gotten yourself into and then what? Do I wait to be swept off my feet by some knight in shining armour? What's he gonna do? Leave me barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen until one day he decides he needs someone without so many miles on them. There's nothing to fall back on after that if I don't have a degree. So I can't drop out.

And then there's my family. Do I really want to drop out? What would they say. I'm supposed to be the first one to get her bachelors degree without stopping. I'm supposed to go places and do things. But I don't want to do anything.

At this point I'm just trying not to let this feeling bring down my grades or my work. And if you pretend that I have anything resembling a social life then I guess I don't want that to be brought down either. But let's be honest, 19 credit hours at school and work 6 nights a week means that my boyfriend gets to see me sleep. I can try to stay up but me without sleep means me single because I am not a morning person and I'm short tempered when I'm tired. And nobody wants to date that.

Obviously I'm just complaining. Plenty of other people do this. With kids. I can just be thankful that that's not me.

It's that time of the year...

I haven't written in a while and I sincerely apologize for that. Moving and finals have taken up the last few months of my life. And drama. yay.

I think I would like to talk for a minute or so about this time of year and the affect it has on me.

Christmas time is my absolute favorite time of year. I love to give gifts. For several years now I have bought for an "angel" or a "mitten". You know, the trees at the mall that allow people to shop for children, and sometimes adults, who can't really afford a Christmas. This year is the first year since I was 16 that I haven't been able to do that. Unfortunately it just isn't in my budget. I think that's part of why this holiday season has been so hard for me, mostly on an internal level. This is the first holiday season where I'm really on my own and, unlike previous years, I have things to pay for, like a real adult, and that means less room to buy for others. Of course it isn't all about the money. I can always, and have been doing nice things for others but it doesn't give the same feeling as gift giving.

This year is also hard for me because, since I'm on my own, that means working over the holidays. not Christmas day but the surrounding days. For me, this means I won't be home for the holidays. I remember the only other time I ever spent a Christmas away from my family, and really it was only Christmas eve through morning. I traveled with my boyfriend and his family to spend Christmas eve with their family in Oklahoma. We were only supposed to be there for a few hours but a huge snow storm and a scary car accident caused us to be stuck there until Christmas morning when the tractors plowed us out. I remember how hard it was not to cry. I'd never spent a Christmas away from home and it felt like the end of the world to me. Obviously it wasn't and my family waited for me to come home before opening presents but I was just a kid. And, it hasn't been that long since then. I'm still a kid. At heart if not in life. And I know that this year will be hard on me. If the world doesn't end, of course.

Another hard thing about the holidays, and it isn't just this year but every year for as long as I can remember, is that it's almost the end of the year. This gets me thinking about a lot of things that I thought would happen but didn't, things that should have been but weren't, and where I thought I would be versus where I am. Let me tell you, this is not at all where I thought I would be. Not even close. But, just like I do every year, I have to remember what I am thankful for. My life may not be where I thought it would be but it's a lot better than it could be and it's far better than it was through most of this year. As I've said before, this year wasn't good to me. At least at the end it's looking up and I have some really great, new people in my life.

The Holidays for me are about family. If you're with them this year be thankful, you might not be next year (not to insinuate your or anyone else's death).

Some ideas about quick Christmas gifts for those you forgot and don't want to leave out.

Cool lights for little kids:
http://shannoneileenblog.typepad.com/happiness-is/2010/03/cloud-lights.html (instructions in comments)
http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/at-europe-paris-6-32062
http://weheartit.com/entry/3662515

Harry Potterhead ideas:
http://practice-self-love.tumblr.com/post/22781935572
http://www.etsy.com/shop/OpheliasGypsyCaravan?sold_listing_id=92084150 (can be DIY with sharpie, dollar store mug, and oven at 350 for 30 min)

Little boy DIYs:
http://www.attemptingaloha.com/2011/11/day-9-handmade-christmas-gifts-for-boys.html
http://www.finleyandoliver.com/2012/03/diy-lego-travel-box.html

Son of A Biscuit Eating Bulldog!

Interesting tittle, no? I used to love those orbit commercials. Dirty mouth? clean it up!

I recently moved so I don't have many crafty things to share with you all today....so here is a picture of my adorable kitten, Marly! She climbed up those clothes. Someone talk me out of declawing her please because it's looking more appealing each morning that I wake up to her having shredded a brand new roll of toilet paper.

So I really want to talk about something near and dear to my heart and I'm sure many of yours though you try to hold it in. Don't!! Let it out! Scream and bitch and whine about it until the madness ends!!! But really guys I'm talking about this whole sub-tweet/ vague facebook status thing. It needs to stop.

Some of you, at least everyone under 25, knows what I'm talking about. Most of you have probably done a little subtweeting yourself. That's alright. I have too. We are all human. We all get emotional over others and feel the need to vent about it. These social media cites are not diaries. Don't spill your guts and think that not using someone's name is going to make it less obvious.

Here are some wonderful examples to get my point across:

1) I have a friend (I am refusing to mention any names here but I'm sure she will know who she is and subtweet about it) and she really liked this guy. A lot of drama went down between them. I won't go into the dirty details but now she is subtweeting him constantly. He is also one of my friends and we have talked about how he feels about it. It's creepy. Legitimately he feels stalked. They weren't together that long so it's just weird. But even if you have been together for a long time and something happens. DON'T DO IT!! That person will know. It just makes you look pathetic. You shouldn't be sitting at home whining about them anyways  Go out and move on. Don't pine away for them. Now I know that I have done this. Not often but I do. Many times after I have done it, I delete the status or tweet. It's especially easy for me on twitter because he doesn't follow me, but that doesn't make it alright.

Example two is a bit more annoying.

2) Basically my friend and I got in a fight. Drunken and stupid I lied to her and drama unfolded. In her sober mind everything was clear but I don't think she took my state of mind into consideration. Honestly, it should not have been as big of a deal as it was/is. It was only a few days ago but it is just getting worse. I have seen at least 5 subtweets about me and one facebook status that I know involved me. It's especially obvious since she is hashtagging (#) something about best friends with every one. Where I should be sorry it just makes me angry. She is dragging this out and making it a huge drama when all it really needs is an apology and a hug, which I have given several times I might add.

So look at these from my and my guy friend's point of view. Now think about how dumb you look when you subtweet someone else. Honestly, after each subtweet I feel more pathetic no matter if I am mad, sad, or something else. It's showing that that person is on your mind when they probably shouldn't be.

I would say the only exception is things like "I love him" or things like that. But that's sickening so I will unfriend/follow you if I see that shit.

This is why I gave up Facebook the last time.

Now for more Marly!

"How childish to make a big deal out of nothing"

"I'm mature enough to forgive you, but I'm not dumb enough to trust you again."

"#badmood. Tired of not understanding. Just want things to be the way it used to be."

"I'm so glad we didn't date"

2012 as Me

I haven't written in a while and I apologize for that. I also underestimated how much I would want to say on a blog. I feel like this is less of a pinterest/craft blog and more of just a me blog for me.

To start off, I saw a pin on pinterest about soaking candy in vodka to make flavored vodka. How perfect, right? Wrong. First of all, the flavor is over powering. And, for some reason, when I thought of candy vodka I thought it would taste more like candy and less like vodka. Nope. The vodka is still there. It's not something you'll want to straight drink (bad idea, trust me). It's more of a shot. I don't know why I thought it wouldn't be. Mistake on my part. So this is just a fair warning.

This year has not gone well. If 2012 is the end of the world (which it isn't) then this is a sucky last year for me. I don't know if I've just made bad choices or what I've done to create such a mess.

To start off 2012 my 'boyfriend' or I suppose he would prefer that I say the guy I was seeing, left to study abroad. We weren't 'together' but we weren't not together. It was one of those things. You know what I mean. You can ask my friends, that hit me pretty hard, but I won't linger on THAT. There's more sadness to talk about still!

I've never been one to be single long. That's not to say that I'm really pretty or that I like 'rebound guys', I don't. I've just never learned to be alone. I think it goes back to my relationship with my dad. Also, my first boyfriend and I were far from a healthy relationship. When I say first boyfriend I'm talking serious boyfriend. Not like in seventh grade when I got my first kiss and called him my boyfriend (not even a real kiss). So shortly after study abroad guy left (Elliot as my friends call him) I began seeing someone new. I think subconsciously I was trying to move on but really my feelings just transferred  My friends even told me that they were afraid that would happen, and they were right. I know now that I should have taken more time for myself. I should of found out who I am without a guy before jumping to the next one. My relationship with 'the next one', we'll call him the wrestler for blogging sake, has been a lot of fun. We have a good time together.

I moved in with The Wrestler at the beginning of the 2012 summer. I didn't want to go home and neither did he. It was supposed to be a temporary thing. We both worked at jobs 20 minutes away in opposite directions. We adopted a cat for free from the Human Society. Life was good. For a little while.

The Wrestler took his car to a body shop to fix some cosmetic damage. Later, the engine caught fire while I was driving it. So we were out a car. He would borrow mine if I didn't work or pay to borrow someone else's if he did. We got by.

The alternator on my car went out. The Wrestler and my brother-in-law fixed it with little expense to me. There was about a week that we were both paying to borrow cars from people. What happened to REAL friends?

The next month I got a speeding ticket. Ironically, I was speeding because I was borrowing my mom's car that doesn't have any headlights. It was getting dark and I didn't want to blind the people in front of me with my lights. I was trying to pass them to avoid pissing them off. My bad.

In the beginning of October I decided I needed to move out. The RA job I had lined up with the school didn't work out and I stayed with my boyfriend. Let me tell you that living with four guys is no easy task. Especially when they aren't your children, or brothers, or related to you in anyone. If you don't have to love them because they're related to you then you probably won't. Let's be honest.

In the beginning of September, my boyfriend was T-boned at an intersection in my car. He is fine but my car is totaled  The man didn't have valid insurance and my insurance company can't seem to get a hold of him using the fake telephone number he provided. Weird how that doesn't work.

Last week liquid was spilled (not by me) onto my computer. Hopefully Best Buy will have good news that the speakers are all that needs to be replaced.

My mom is moving out of our current house and can't keep my cat. That makes three for me. I'm slowly becoming the crazy cat lady.

That's a whole lot of complaining to do in one blog and I strongly apologize. I've watched Bridesmaids over and over again and I've started comparing my life to hers. Not a good idea. BUT she gets a happy ending so I will too, right?

To counter all of this sadness here is a list of good things that have or will happen to me this year:

I adopted TWO new babies (cats). I'm happy to be a cat lady.
I got a new (to me) car fro a great deal
I did get a new computer to replace the old one
I've lived on my own for 6ish months and haven't died. That's and accomplishment in it's own.
I ended my Freshman year of college and Started my Sophomore year off with a BANG!
I'm still awesome.

There are other things. Most definitely (I can never spell that word right). Sometimes it's just hard to focus on the positive when the negative are so bad. And sometimes, the negative are so bad that you have to focus on the positive. 2013 will be better. Not instantly. That's what the end of 2012 is for. To get to better. The positive.

I love Colors!

I am a huge fan of colors. Bright ones. I love the idea of having a turquoise bookshelf or a pair of bright yellow heels to wear. I like to stand out and to do so need something that POPS! So on pinterest I have been seeing some cool colored clothes and thought that maybe I could make some myself.
Here's what I used:

RIT dye (from Hobby Lobby) in my chosen color of scarlet, a large bowl, and bleach (not shown)

And a pair of jeans that I wanted to change. I chose these jeans because I don't wear them very often and they are a little snug on me so I won't be upset if they turn out terrible.

First I filled the bowl with water. This whole process would have worked much better in a sink or bathtub but I don't have a plug for my sink nor do I have a bathtub. I poured a lot of bleach into the water. No measurements just guesstimating. I didn't notice but the bleach was lemon scented. This gave the jeans a yellow tinge once they were completely bleached.

I submerged the jeans into the bowl and let them sit for over 24 hours. It surprised me how long it took. You can see in the picture where the jeans have started to yellow. When they were completely bleached I let them dry completely by hanging them up over the same bowl (to catch dripping water).

The yellow tint doesn't actually affect the end result but is just something to consider. I used the same bowl, refilled it with water, and added some of the RIT dye. I didn't measure. Depending on how dark the jeans got I would add more. Remember, you can only add more.  None can be subtracted so use sparingly.

I'm not sure how long I let them sit but I made sure to check on the color and stir them every so often. When they got to a color I liked I let them hang dry again. Then I put them through the washing machine and dryer by themselves.

When I first decided I liked the color they were a darker pink. After washing they turned out coral which is even better. They're gorgeous in person. It's a pretty easy process but I'd never thought about changing the color of my clothes before. I have a hoodie that I am trying to transform into something magnificent and I think I am going to use this same process to get rid of the boring grey. Enjoy!

I bet you didn't know!

I haven't posted in a while, sorry about that. Bigger things took my attention momentarily. But I'm back now with a list of tips you probably will want to know at some point in your life. There are a lot of these lists on pinterest and the internet but I find that some of them don't work into my life as well as they might for someone with kids and a family (I mean, generally a lot of them work since living with boys is like having kids but some do not apply to me). So this is a general list of tips and tricks for your convenience.

 1. Vinegar is your best friend. Once I realized the multiple uses for vinegar I realized I couldn't live without it. This big bottle is about $4 at Walmart (don't quote me on that price). The reason I found so many amazing uses is that I was having a problem with the gnats invading the kitchen and the rest of our house. I needed a cure. Pinterest told me that by mixing vinegar with a small dose of dish soap (I generally do a thin layer on the bottom of the bowl and fill the rest with vinegar) the gnats will be attracted and then trapped. They like vinegar but the consistency of the dish soap traps and drowns them. I'm sure my roommates thought I was crazy leaving bowls of vinegar around but it worked. Vinegar can also be used to clean a smelly sink. Just pour baking soda and THEN vinegar down the drain. Clears that nasty chicken smell right up.

2. I am poor. No surprise, I'm in college. SO I don't like to waste or throw away things if I don't have to. I found out via pinterest that mascara doesn't run out as fast as you think it does, it just dries out. My mom told me not to pump my mascara and that will make it last longer. Years of habbit kept me pumping. There's a simple solution: put a few drops of contact solution into your mascara once it dries out. Pump it a few times and let it sit overnight The next day your mascara will be just like new. This can be done 2-3 times before you actually have to throw away your mascara. I've also heard that dried out markers dipped in contact solution and left, with the cap on, overnight will work but I've yet to try it.

3. Jenna Marbles taught me (though I already knew it) that it isn't healthy to wash your hair everyday:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuTcLJybqLM. My problem with not washing my hair every day is that my hair starts to look greasy and dirty after a few hours, especially if I've been at work. I absolutely hate this. Appearance is (almost) everything. I found out that dry shampoo (about $3 at Wal-mart) cures that problem. For second day hair I spray some dry shampoo on the roots of my hair, let it sit for a minute, and then rub it through all of my hair. I almost always wear my hair up if I have second day hair. This way I don't obsess over how my hair looks. Generally, if your hair is up its less likely to look greasy anyways.

4. I used to have way too many pairs of clothes (ask my old roommate). I didn't wear all of them but couldn't bring myself to get rid of anything. What if there was a party where I need to dress up as Tom Cruise in Risky Business?!? This button down shirt dress will come in handy!!! It was a real problem for me. My sister told me a trick one of her co-workers does. Hang all of your hangers facing the wrong way in your closet at the beginning of the season. When you wear and wash them you'll instinctively hang them up facing the right direction. At the end of the season get rid of any clothes that are still facing the wrong way. If you didn't wear them this season it's most likely that you won't wear them again.

5. This last one applies to a lot of people I'm sure! I have a really small shower. Not only that but I share it with two guys. We all have our own shampoos, body washes, etc. The shelf that hangs on the shower head just doesn't cut it for us. I got tired of having to take a shower cady into my own shower. I pay rent, I want ROOM! So I got creative. I went to the dollar tree and picked up a pack of two baskets, another cady, and some shower curtain rings. This is what I set up:

I had an extra shower curtain rod lying around from when I moved out of the dorms. I looped one shower curtain ring through the top of each shower cady. This way they could hang on the bar facing the right direction. I used four more rings to secure one basket to each cady. They hang at the very back of our tiny shower now. It holds all of our shavers, shampoos, and such. It's not as wobbly and I am less likely to bump into it. I don't know about the guys but I'm pretty happy with it.

Those are all my essentials. There are probably a lot more things I could do to make life easier but this is what I have so far. Enjoy!

Let's Be Thankful

Alright guys, this next project is going to take a while but it's fun and all you need is a deck of cards. This is going to start being more than just a craft/art blog.

As I've said before, I work as a waitress (see how to tip post). Earlier today I noticed that all people did was complain. The people I work with, the people I wait on, everyone. And I understand. Sometimes life is hard. But all this complaining in one place shut me up real quick. Sure I could have joined in (car troubles, GREAT!!) and maybe I did thrown out a few sob stories but I think we all take our lives for granted. I work four doubles a week waiting on people who don't appreciate the hurtles I jump to please them but I have food in my mouth and a roof over my head and that's a lot more than many. I saw a photo on pinterest that really said it all for me:

Basically I want to add some perspective to my life and I think you should do the same.

I saw on pinterest an art journal. Being the crafty girl I am I went ahead and clicked the link. It took me to this woman's mini art journal using a deck of cards. I thought it was so neat that I decided I wanted to make one. So these cards have been sitting in my room for over a week with no inspiration to put anything onto them. Today is that inspiration. I want this deck of cards to be a reminder of how lucky I am to be where I am with who I have. I am going to create a card whenever my mood strikes. I took down some ideas on themes for the cards (yes there's a prompt) but if you don't like them you don't have to use them or you can change them up.

My first step was to decorate a background for a few of the cards. I knew I would want them painted and glued and such so I did that to save time when I'm actually creating something.

I threw them all into one little box that I wasn't using (courtesy of the Target dollar bins) and can look through them whenever inspiration hits.
So my first prompt (from the original site) is Something you are proud of. I kept the name but changed it to someone. Here's where the blogging actually begins!

It's terrible picture quality. Sorry! No matter how many pictures I take I can't fix it. I really need a new camera (hint hint Christmas gift idea!)

This is a picture of my little brother (aww I know!). He's older now but this is the oldest school photo I have of him. I'm sure he has never thought of me as being proud of him but I am, so very proud. I'm always telling him not to mess up his life and scolding him for the little things but I am so jealous of where he is compared to where I was when I was his age. He has done so well and he excels in nearly all he tries in. When we were young we went through a divide in our family and I thought I had it hard by being left out. Getting older I realize it's so much harder being the rope than tugging on one end and I am just so proud of all that he is and will become.

Some things I made sure to include on this was a number (1) so I could keep my cards in order. This isn't necessarily important but I would prefer them that way. I also wrote the prompt so I knew what the card was about (there are going to be 52 of these so it might get confusing).

If you're looking for something to do or a way to add a little reminder of things to be thankful for or even something to cheer you up on your bad days then go ahead and grab a deck of cards and join me in creating a mini art journal.