I haven't written in a while and I sincerely apologize for that. Moving and finals have taken up the last few months of my life. And drama. yay.
I think I would like to talk for a minute or so about this time of year and the affect it has on me.
Christmas time is my absolute favorite time of year. I love to give gifts. For several years now I have bought for an "angel" or a "mitten". You know, the trees at the mall that allow people to shop for children, and sometimes adults, who can't really afford a Christmas. This year is the first year since I was 16 that I haven't been able to do that. Unfortunately it just isn't in my budget. I think that's part of why this holiday season has been so hard for me, mostly on an internal level. This is the first holiday season where I'm really on my own and, unlike previous years, I have things to pay for, like a real adult, and that means less room to buy for others. Of course it isn't all about the money. I can always, and have been doing nice things for others but it doesn't give the same feeling as gift giving.
This year is also hard for me because, since I'm on my own, that means working over the holidays. not Christmas day but the surrounding days. For me, this means I won't be home for the holidays. I remember the only other time I ever spent a Christmas away from my family, and really it was only Christmas eve through morning. I traveled with my boyfriend and his family to spend Christmas eve with their family in Oklahoma. We were only supposed to be there for a few hours but a huge snow storm and a scary car accident caused us to be stuck there until Christmas morning when the tractors plowed us out. I remember how hard it was not to cry. I'd never spent a Christmas away from home and it felt like the end of the world to me. Obviously it wasn't and my family waited for me to come home before opening presents but I was just a kid. And, it hasn't been that long since then. I'm still a kid. At heart if not in life. And I know that this year will be hard on me. If the world doesn't end, of course.
Another hard thing about the holidays, and it isn't just this year but every year for as long as I can remember, is that it's almost the end of the year. This gets me thinking about a lot of things that I thought would happen but didn't, things that should have been but weren't, and where I thought I would be versus where I am. Let me tell you, this is not at all where I thought I would be. Not even close. But, just like I do every year, I have to remember what I am thankful for. My life may not be where I thought it would be but it's a lot better than it could be and it's far better than it was through most of this year. As I've said before, this year wasn't good to me. At least at the end it's looking up and I have some really great, new people in my life.
The Holidays for me are about family. If you're with them this year be thankful, you might not be next year (not to insinuate your or anyone else's death).
Some ideas about quick Christmas gifts for those you forgot and don't want to leave out.
Cool lights for little kids:
http://shannoneileenblog.typepad.com/happiness-is/2010/03/cloud-lights.html (instructions in comments)
http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/at-europe-paris-6-32062
http://weheartit.com/entry/3662515
Harry Potterhead ideas:
http://practice-self-love.tumblr.com/post/22781935572
http://www.etsy.com/shop/OpheliasGypsyCaravan?sold_listing_id=92084150 (can be DIY with sharpie, dollar store mug, and oven at 350 for 30 min)
Little boy DIYs:
http://www.attemptingaloha.com/2011/11/day-9-handmade-christmas-gifts-for-boys.html
http://www.finleyandoliver.com/2012/03/diy-lego-travel-box.html
